My little secrets

"How did you know I was wearing a necklace?"

Tiny geek accessories, details of our everyday outfits, give us little delicious joys.

They can be Ezra earrings on the second day of school, a Thrawn ring in an important meeting, or an engraved kyber crystal pendant to show off during a seminar.

Like micro cosplays, they show a glimpse of what that character represents to us.

Little secrets, revealed just to ourselves.

They gave us power or comfort.

Some people might notice them.

But they are seldom able to "see" anyway.

Like with us, after all.

"Would you trade that necklace for a glimpse into your future?"

[Photo: suggested by @kotoroa, this customizable engraved -kyber- crystal necklace is made by HeartcraftedFantasy on Etsy, and sparks purple light when turning the metal frame at the top]

The tragedy

“This weapon is your life.”

“I’ve heard this lesson before.”

Obi-Wan held it out again, finally relinquishing that awful stare, and Anakin took the weapon and replaced it on his belt.

“But you haven’t learned anything, Anakin,” the Jedi Knight said, turning away.

“I try, Master.”

There was sincerity in his tone, Obi-Wan clearly recognized, and a bit of regret, perhaps, and that reminded Obi-Wan of the difficult circumstances under which Anakin had entered the Order. He had been far too old, nearly ten years of age, and Master Qui-Gon had taken him in without permission, without the blessing of the Jedi Council. Master Yoda had seen potential danger in young Anakin Skywalker. [.]

After Qui-Gon’s death at the hands of a Sith Lord, the Jedi Council had rethought their decision [.] with Obi-Wan fulfilling his promise to Qui-Gon that he would take the talented young boy under his tutelage. The Council had been hesitant, though, and obviously not happy about it. [.]

He looked up at Anakin, who was standing patiently, properly subdued after the tongue-lashing, and he took comfort in that image, in this incredibly likable, somewhat stubborn, and obviously brash young man.

He hid his smile only because it would not do for Anakin to understand himself forgiven so easily for his rash actions and the loss of his weapon. [.]

“Why do I think that you’re going to be the death of me?” Obi-Wan commented above the clamor.

“Don’t say that, Master,” Anakin replied seriously, and the intensity of his tone surprised Obi-Wan. “You’re the closest thing I have to a father. I love you, and I don’t want to cause you pain.”

“Then why don’t you listen to me?”

“I will,” Anakin said eagerly. “I’ll do better. I promise.”

~

Anakin and Obi-Wan. Their relationship.

One of the most complex and compelling in the entire saga.

The unresolved affection, the obsessive fears, the inevitable conclusion.

A tragedy.

Rolling inexorably on the inclined plane of the unspoken truth.

[Photo: adorably cute pins by @ritarussiandoll_pins, design art by @petit_croc_]

The revolutionary

L3: "No! Unacceptable! Stop exploiting droids! You sloppy degenerate bios! [.] Have you no shame?"

MAN: "You got no business being here. Get out of here!"

L3: "How can you condone this savagery? You, you. You should not be doing this. They're using you for entertainment. Yeah. You've been neurowashed. Don't just blindly follow the program. Exercise some free will!"

MAN: "Stay away from him!" [.]

L3: "Oh, really? How about you have a go at me, ya lumpy brute." [.]

LANDO: "L3!"

L3: "Droid rights! We are sentient!"

MAN: "I'm gonna flip your switch."

L3: "Good luck finding it.

LANDO: "L3! Let go of the mean man's face. We're leaving."

L3: "They don't even serve our kind here."

LANDO: "Now."

L3: "Who are these guys?"

LANDO: "We're taking them to Kessel."

L3: "Oh, are we? And what if I don't elect to go to Kessel?"

LANDO: "Please don't start."

L3: "Or what, you'll have me wiped? You couldn't get from here to Black Spire without me. Now you're gonna make the Kessel Run?"

HAN: "If she doesn't wanna fly, I'll be your co-pilot. I don't mind."

LANDO: "No, no. It's okay. She's definitely going."

L3: "Oh, why? Because you're my organic overlord?"

~

If you ask me which is the most revolutionary and heroic character in the whole Star Wars franchise, I won't answer Leia, or Jyn.

But L3-37.

She is vocal, sarcastic, bold.

She has her cause, and she is not going to compromise.

She fights for it.

And she dies for it.

She teaches us determination, self awareness, sacrifice.

To forge ourselves, learn, improve.

And to have the right to be who we want to be.

"Sure, some guy in a factory probably pieced me together originally, and someone else programmed me, so to speak. But then the galaxy itself forged me into who I am. Because we learn, Lando. We're programmed to learn. Which means we grow. We grow away from that singular moment of creation, become something new with each changing moment of our lives—yes, lives—and look at me: these parts. I did this. So maybe when we say the Maker we're referring to the whole galaxy, or maybe we just mean ourselves. Maybe we're our own makers, no matter who put the parts together."

[Photo: my precious L3-37 Funko Pop on a liquid nitrogen tank]

 

Unfamiliar numbers

The texture of his mind was unlike anything Anakin had ever touched before. It was neat and well ordered, the patterns of thought flowing smoothly and precisely in ways not unlike those of scientists or mathematicians. But the content of that flow, and the muted emo­tions accompanying it, were completely opaque. It was like a neat and precise array of unfamiliar numbers.

~

“There’s a certain air about such things, an overall feeling that forms in my mind.”

“Nothing you can codify for us?”

Thrawn turned to him, and through his faceplate Ba’kif saw the other’s wry smile. “Really, General,” he said. “If I could write all this down, I certainly would.”

“I know,” Ba’kif said. “It would be a lot easier for all of us if you could.”

~

Setting aside the datapad, he gazed again at the pattern of numbers flowing across his display. For most people, he knew, numbers were next to meaningless. For Eli, by life and by training a supply specialist, they were like music. Whether they formed themselves into inventory lists, targeting calculations, or hyperspace course and position data, numbers were at the heart of everything that made the universe function. They spoke to a grand symphony of people; [] of the lifeblood of good and evil alike.

Perhaps that was why he and Thrawn had worked so well together. Eli had his numbers, Thrawn had his art, and neither skill could be fully understood by anyone else.

~

According to Dr. Grandin, people with autism and Asperger's are specialist thinkers.

Specifically, pattern thinking is an abstract form of visual thinking. Daniel Tammet describes it as the ability to experience patterns and numbers in an exceptionally vivid way, being able to see and feel them. "The numbers are moving in my mind. That emotion, that motion, that texture will be highly memorable for me." In most people's brains, the recognition of colors, the ability to manipulate numbers, or language capacity all work separately and differently. But in pattern thinkers, the brain communicates between the regions, in a cognitive process that is not linear (so, in general, difficult to verbalize to other people).

Thrawn and Eli.

The pattern thinker and the pattern reader.

Peculiar minds

"It was with decidedly mixed feelings that Eli watched the Chimaera growing steadily to fill the shuttle’s viewport.

Back in his cadet days, he’d been thrown together with Thrawn completely against his will, and for a long time he’d resented the disruption in his life. Gradually that attitude had changed, largely keeping pace with how his view of Thrawn had changed from obstruction to interesting anomaly to the best thing that could have happened to Eli’s own career.

Before Thrawn offered this abrupt change in the course of Eli’s life, Eli had dared to see his commander as almost a friend.

What he didn’t know—what he’d never known—was how Thrawn saw him.

Did Thrawn have friends? Eli or anyone else? Had he had friends when he was growing up in the Chiss Ascendancy, or had he always been different, the oddness of his mind leaving his young peers bewildered or resentful?

It wasn’t just a general Chiss quality. Admiral Ar’alani was an excellent commander, and smart enough in her own way, but there was a spark that Thrawn had that she didn’t. She didn’t have the same knack for observing and analyzing the universe around her, nor did any of the others Eli had met aboard the Steadfast.

How unique was Thrawn?

It wasn’t something Eli needed to know. It wasn’t something he deserved to know. But it was something he very much wanted to know.

Though he probably never would."

~

Some memories are better left unsaid.

Feelings too powerful.

So real and emotional, being able to touch souls from different continents and backgrounds.

Personal.

Nevertheless, I would do everyone wrong if I wouldn't state here how much thankful I am to you all for, once again, being with me all along the way.

I am a very, *VERY* fortunate human.

[And Mr. and Mrs. Zahn are gems of this world]

[Photo: minds influencing each other and sharing —although @kotoroa is the brilliant one. And the perfect execution by @caitlynminimalist. Stunning aurebesh earrings.]

231 miles

“The warrior’s path lies before us,” he said. “Let us follow its guidance.”

Morning Spiran caf.

An exciting morning indeed.

After 62 posts, thousands of characters of captions, pages, and pages of quotes, hours spent redacting them, editing pictures, notes, and post-its, 8 months here bothering you with my love for the (very) tall (very) blue neurodivergent alien (who is not a villain), it seems a little surreal to realize that today I will drive my rented car for 231 miles -372 km- to meet the man responsible to create it all.

My IG account and community gave me so much.

I already said it, and I will state it over and over again until I have a voice.

"If one wants the joy of giving, one must in turn accept the humbleness of receiving, so as to allow others their own joy."

So, it is with immense pleasure and pride that I will try, these days, to share it all. If allowed to, I will also attempt to go "live" during Mr. Zahn's panel on Friday.

[If I understand how the kriff doing that on IG].

And I will bring all your joy, and creativity, and talent with me.

For him to see.

So, if you have a little time and you are curious about the adventure of this silly fangirl, check my IG stories every now and then. 'Raw'n will be with me, as usual, essential companion during my travels.

[He truly missed drinking fancy cocktails, and eating delicious ramen, while being in the spotlight]

I do not have any post truly planned for these three days, so, expect something random (sorry for that), but definitely inspired by the wonderful wonderful people that I will be very fortunate to meet.

"Very well. Shall we once again charge headlong into danger?”

“We shall".

[Photo: an IG fake, once again. Yep. I live alone, so this poodoo "me enjoying my morning coffee"photo took me 45 mins of shooting with a tripod and 2 hours of editing. Sad. The mug, however. *That* is something I will be always hyper about. Link in bio: today at 11 dollars on Teepublic]

Your son

"Hera fought in the battle of Endor, as did Commander Rex.

By that time, there had been a new member added to the crew of the Ghost. Spectre-Seven, Jacen Syndulla.

Born to fly, just like his mother.

And, well, we all know what his father was like."

I need to be honest here.

Of all the characters introduced in tv shows, books, and movies, Jacen is, by far, the one I am the most curious to read about.

Sure, I would pay good money for more insights about Eli's Ascendancy life.

But while my headcanon is able, somehow, to supply answers for Eli, in the case of Jacen, I have soooooo many open questions.

Son of a Rebel General and a Jedi, grandson of "The Hammer of Ryloth".

Big shoes to fill.

Did he have dad issues? Mom issues?

Was he force sensitive?

Did he have his father's heart? And his mother's soul?

Would he bond with the older Luke during the years in the Rebellion, given that they were both -curiously- sons of "supposed not to be fathers" Jedi?

Did Rex tell him epic stories about his very handsome dad while roasting space marshmallows in the Yavin summer nights?

Was he with his mom when the Ghost appeared on Exegol?

Was he Ben's childhood friend? Were they playing with marbles in a corner of the situation room while their moms were fighting the lasts year of the civil war? Or against the First Order?

Was he friends with Poe, then? Did he meet Rey or Finn? Were they karaoke buddies?

So many untold stories.

His network so vast and fascinating.

Such an unbelievably huge potential.

Aren't you curious?

[Photo: totally in love of this art print by @aly_en.art -on Teepublic-. Jacen's fierce and determined look here reminds me of his father's nobility and his mother's strength. Absolutely perfect.]