Awake

Che’ri adjusts her grip on the questis and art sheets tucked under her arm as she stares at the door to Thrawn’s office. The Springhawk is quiet at this time of night, and all she can hear is the gentle hum of the ship’s systems. She can tell the captain is still awake – the door is rimmed with the soft light from inside the room – but will he be upset with her for interrupting whatever he’s doing? For a moment, she hesitates, almost reconsidering her decision, but then she makes up her mind, takes a deep breath, and pokes the button for the door chime. Almost immediately, the door slides open, and she can see Thrawn seated at his desk near the center of the room, surrounded by pieces of art both physical and projected. His eyes flick toward her, and he tilts his head almost imperceptibly, by way of greeting. If he is surprised to see Che’ri standing in the hall at this hour, he doesn’t show it.

“Do you need something?” he asks, moving his chair a little to see her better past his desk. The gentle tone of his voice surprises her, and gives her the courage to step into the room.

“I can’t sleep,” Che’ri says, tapping her fistful of graph markers against her leg. “I’m not tired yet. And it’s so lonely lying there in the dark. I just wanted to talk to someone.”

[From "a fleeting flower, once painted, blooms forever" by lilac-vode on AO3.

The whole fanfiction is a short adorable treasure: run to read its sweet conclusion]

~

My chronic circadian rhythm sleep disorder is part of who I am. I do not even "suffer" from it anymore.

It is me. I drift.

Simply, "I’m not tired" when I am supposed to be.

Then, suddenly, life calls, and I end up not sleeping more than four hours. If anything.

Friends make jokes about it.

Lovers try —and fail to become used to it.

I see an immeasurable number of dawns.

Spending most of my nights completely alone.

So, my heart melted reading this little gem.

Ch'eri. Her curious insomniac brain spinning.

And Thrawn (canonically a short sleeper syndrome dude) there.

Gentle.

Accepting.

Ready to talk about strokes and stars.

Are you awake?

[Photo: delightful art print by Jemichi, part of the "Of Mitths and Legends" 2021 fanzine]