Carved in my soul

kk"Am I interrupting?"

"The hell's your problem? What's that? Another list with my name on it?"

"Actually, yes, but only because you signed your notes. Every page, I might add. Eh, a little egotistical, don't you think?"

"Is that why you came? To insult me?"

"No, no, I was… I was intrigued by what you said at the trial."

"That makes you the only one."

"Yes, well, I wanted to talk about your work. This Hextech theory of yours."

"It's not a theory. I saw with my own eyes what magic can do, the lives it could save. You've no idea how beautiful it is. And now it's gone. No one believed me."

"Nobody's ever believed in me. A poor cripple from the undercity. I was an outsider the moment I stepped foot in Piltover. I didn't have the benefits of a patron or a name. I simply believed in myself. Which is why I'm here. Because I think you're on to something. I want to help you complete your research."

"No one thinks it can be done."

"When you're going to change the world, don't ask for permission."

"I don't even know your name."

"It's Viktor."

[Arcane, 1x02]

~

I know.

Quoting this dialogue is a cheap move on my part.

But this exchange between Jayce and Viktor is pure perfection.

In a few glorious lines, phenomenal animation, and brilliant acting, the two characters are sublimely delineated.

Jayce's embarrassed scoff, while caught on the edge of his extreme act.

His inspired and focused eyes when he says, "You've no idea how beautiful it is."

His bewildered but grateful touch, while gently accepting back his bracelet (and his life) from a stranger's pale hand.

The "eh" and Viktor's expression, that will be my comfort image for years to come.

The prompt sarcasm, but also the overwhelming sincerity of that "no, no", because his banter is never intended to hurt.

And how sweet and vulnerable he sounds when simply saying, "it's Viktor."

Every word. Every look.

Carved in my soul.

[I do not think I want to be saved from my hyperfixation]

[But Happy Halloween, you'll!]

Misrepresentation

Key player in the battle of Christophsis, Ryloth (where he authorized Ahsoka's Marg Sabl), Geonosis, Saleucami, and so many others that are boring to list, Wullf Yularen pursued his career with the ISB only after the transition from the Republic into the Empire.

[Transition that, I remind, was supported by both popular consensus and the Senate after the war]

In the whole canon, he is portrayed as a deeply intelligent, extremely calm, and attentive leader. He recognizes priorities and never loses focus on the big picture. An effective modern CIA or FBI agent, if you want.

Asked which minor SW character Zahn loved the most, he indicated Yularen without hesitation. He defined Wullf as "quietly competent," "smart," and "not inclined to choke people." This is probably why he is the only highly-ranked imperial truly connecting with Thrawn. The "Bak'if of the Empire," the one who can save Thrawn's ass every time he is court-martialled, and probably has his own bottle of Xanax in the drawer.

“I want to know what you’re doing here, and what your business was with Nightswan.” [] [Yularen] hesitates a second, then lowers the carbine to point at the ground. “I don’t believe you’re a traitor, Admiral. But this meeting has the appearance of treason, and that’s all your enemies would need to bring you down. Bottom line: You talk to me now, or someday you face them. Which is it going to be?”

Now.

Premising that I do generally love "Andor," HOW THE KRIFF did the LF Story Group authorize Yularen portrayal as an idiotically screaming, power-hungry, "how tight to close our fist", nazi SS?

The same Yularen who was devastated by the civilian casualties at Batonn?

“It was, by anyone’s standards, a slaughter,” Yularen said. *His voice is under control but holds deep regret and the echo of dark memories.* “I saw some horrendous things during the Clone Wars. This ranks right up there with the worst of them.”

Is it then *so easy* to completely misrepresent a super-established character now?

So, well.

Do not ask me, then, why I am so utterly terrified.

[Fact: "#Andor 1x07" Italian title is "Emperor's Hand"]

[Photo featuring more @meltarien Thrawn's cookies]

Gracing the universe

A friend need not be kept either within sight or within reach.

A friend must be allowed the freedom to find and follow his own path.

If one is fortunate, those paths will for a time join.

But if the paths separate, it is comforting to know that a friend still graces the universe with his skills, and his viewpoint, and his presence.

~

I know.

I already posted this beautiful quote, and I really try never to do that.

But, this is a completely different context, so allow me to break my own rule.

Today is indeed a very special #ThrawnThursday.

Adrienn's (@kotoroa) birthday.

And I should be really grateful to Thrawn (and, so, Zahn) for gifting me with such a wonderful human in my life.

A true kindred spirit.

Someone that would send a bottle of Vin Santo from Tuscany to the middle of American nowhere, just because she knows that you are always a little homesick.

Someone that would ask her relative to make you these adorable tiny dolls for your birthday, so they could pop up, in a box full of love, the day you're alone.

Someone who is brilliant, funny, able to read your mind, to speak about Eli (and Thrawn) for five hours in a row, and to (almost?) make you love Obi-Wan.

Happy birthday, Adrienn.

You, spice pumpkin latte

We officially entered the "disgustingly sugary lattes" season.

[Yay?]

So, on this fine mid-October day, I want to bother you with a silly post about what Thrawn&Co. would pick in a hipster, wooden-patterned, indie music-swathed cozy cafe.

In my headcanon, Thrawn has an irredeemable sweet tooth.

I am entertained by the idea that the same people that think he is an emotionless, cold villain would pick for him bitter black coffee while he would probably smash their claims against the most obscenely syrupy drink on the menu.

Like a pumpkin pancake latte, with butter pecan, maple syrup, and spices.

Or a campfire mocha, with honey, chocolate, and toasted marshmallows.

I just got a cavity typing that, but, man, he would looooove it.

Ar'alani gives me more of the vibe of someone that, surrounded by saccharines, would pick the supposedly less sugary drink, but without being that grinchy killjoy that orders just straight black coffee.

[She is not a snob like that]

[Samakro, though, would probably be that person]

[But everyone would love him nevertheless, even if teasing him to death]

Anyway. Ar'alani.

Pumpkin cream cold brew. Pretending to respect the seasonal flavor with the spices but on a strong, bitter, highly caffeinated base.

And she doesn't give a kriff about the cold after all.

Eli, obviously, would pick something decisively sugary, but not sickly sweet like Thrawn.

Possibly a cinnamon roll latte, with brown sugar, vanilla, and caramel.

[Well, this is kind of nauseatingly sweet, actually]

Or, maybe, a white pumpkin mocha, with white chocolate and pumpkin spice.

Just for still savoring the coffee taste, a little.

Stars, I think I am running out of characters here.

Let me just add Ch'eri, ok?

Caramel apple hot cider. With cinnamon sticks.

And, yes, she would totally rob some of Thrawn's drinks when she thinks he is not looking.

[But he is looking]

[Obviously]

[And smiles]

[I normally do not like to ask "engagement" questions, but I am genuinely curious about your headcanons! Comment with the offensively sugary drinks they would order]

[Photo: a smiling cute Thrawn pin by lesbianomens.bigcartel.com on a sea of wonderful ginger cookies that @meltarien tortuously sent me because she is brave and unbreakable]

Don't ask for permission

Viktor believes himself unlovable and unable to love, asserts himself above it in some subconscious defence, constructs himself electric and invulnerable to compensate for whatever esoteric pain only he knows the name of.

But the man a few inches away from Jayce is brilliant, and beatific, and bursting with emotion he’s forgotten how to feel.

He’s lovely, sharp, a pain and amazing.

[From: "I do believe that you are the answer to most things in the known universe" by OptimusPrime33, a Giopara/Viktor —LOL lore— AU]

~

I adore when fanfics just express so flawlessly everything I would crave to convey about a person or a relationship or a feeling, but I am so excruciatingly unable to.

~

It is peculiar how fictional characters enter your life precisely when you need them to.

Thrawn is me.

I needed to be seen, and he was there.

More handsome and brilliant and blue, sure.

But me.

Finally acknowledged, deciphered.

Loved.

My self-discovery and acceptance journey.

And then, Viktor.

Brilliant. Unhinged. Beautiful.

There. When I needed to feel again, to live again.

Without asking for permission.

[This is an even more personal post than usual, if possible. I bet it is cryptic and difficult to read, so sorry for that. The exquisite pin is by Nekato404 (on Etsy), and is placed over a very old Ericsson heat engine]

Anxiety

Absolutely terrified every time I sculpt a new custom Funko pop.

There is a not negligible time frame during which everything seems absolutely wrong, the clay inexorably dries, and nothing works.

And yet.

[I'm actually proud of this sculpt for Viktor]

How good you are

“Your Empire is corrupt, Commander. Corrupt, dangerous, and ultimately self-defeating. It’s going to fall anyway. I’m just helping it along.”

“I’d go easy on the overconfidence if I were you,” Eli offered. “As long as there are commanders like Admiral Thrawn, you’re going to have an uphill job of it.”

“Ah, but there *are* no commanders like Admiral Thrawn,” Nightswan said with a tight smile. “Not anymore.”

~

“I started hearing rumors. Stories about something nasty the Empire was up to out in the middle of nowhere. The project that was sucking up all the doonium, iridium, and other metals that they were yanking out of the markets. [] I started getting curious.” His lips compress. His expression holds regret. “Sometimes it’s a very bad thing to be curious.”

“It is never wrong to be curious. But it can sometimes be dangerous. This project you seek. Do you wish to stop it?”

Nightswan frowns, his expression and body stance holding suspicion. His facial heat again rises. “Why? Are you in charge of protecting it?”

“No.”

“You probably should be.” His suspicion is fading. “If they really want to protect it, that is. Would I stop it? I don’t know. I suppose I’d first need to know what it is, so I could judge whether or not it’s worth all the chaos it’s causing. Why do you ask?”

“Because I, too, am interested in the project. I would like to hear what you have learned.”

“Sure.” Nightswan waves a hand toward Creekpath. His expression holds sardonic humor. “Take off that uniform, come join us, and I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“You know I cannot do that.”

“And I can’t give up information that someday might be vital to these people,” Nightswan said. “Obligations, you know.”

“Yet you also have a higher obligation to greater ideals,” Thrawn said. “Tell me about Cyphar.” []

Nightswan shakes his head. His expression holds both resignation and admiration. []

“Sometimes I forget how good you are,” he said. “Other times, I’m glad of it."

~

Week after week, just in adoration for what a perfect Thrawn fangirl Nightswan is.

And while sometimes I think I should discuss all the emotions I am feeling, everything is so deeply already there.

[Photo: custom Funko pop by me this time]