Anniversary

Two years since my pledge to attempt to affect the collective perception of a literary blue man.

My cause, my fight, my own intimate war.

Collecting words, stacking rants.

Thoughts and reasons.

Am I still ready to argue, to patiently defend him, one Zahn's quote after another?

Sure.

But on today's anniversary, I just want to be a simple child.

Stubborn and naive, as just kids can be.

So I decided to share some utterly *made up* facts about him.

[Yep]

He always craves sweets, especially pâtisserie, but also chocolate. On the savory side, he adores pungent cheese (well, this is kind of canon, isn't it?)

He is a tea person, but when offered caf, he adds a disgusting amount of sugar and milk.

He hums under the shower, softly singing the refrains over and over, making Eli insane.

When he is on shore leave, besides museums, he wanders in street markets, wearing civilian clothes if allowed to, especially using Mitth burgundy and grey as favorite color combinations.

He loves mostly ECM-kind music but is generally fascinated by folk and traditional.

He doesn't sleep much but enjoys long showers and reading space detective stories.

When out, he shares his food with Ar'alani, and she has a tendency to drink his cocktails instead of hers (I borrowed this one).

Sometimes, he makes not-so-funny jokes that he finds irresistibly comical. He tries to avoid openly laughing, distorting his handsome face with a super amused grin, which makes all the bridge crew chuckle overtly, more because he is so unquestionably happy than for the joke itself.

He always takes the smaller crab (this is cryptic, do not mind me).

There.

So, while I am blowing out my too many candles, I wish.

Magical Star Wars Genie, please, allows Thrawn to be just obscenely happy.

To be remembered for his puns and smiles.

Smoking hot caccoleaf, colored markers, and his heart in a journal.

Spending his remaining days surrounded by the souls who give him the purest joy.

Loved.

Overwhelmingly and completely so.

[Photo: Eli and Thrawn tooka dolls are made by @amandaanime99_cosplay]

What’s wrong with me?

“Name one hero who was happy.”

I considered.

Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason’s children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus’ back.

“You can’t.” He was sitting up now, leaning forward.

“I can’t.”

“I know. They never let you be famous AND happy.” He lifted an eyebrow. “I’ll tell you a secret.”

“Tell me.” I loved it when he was like this.

“I’m going to be the first.” He took my palm and held it to his. “Swear it.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the reason. Swear it.”

“I swear it,” I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes.

“I swear it,” he echoed.

We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned.

“I feel like I could eat the world raw.”

[“The Song of Achilles” by Madeline Miller]

~

Yes, cheating.

Mixing hyperfixations old and new.

But it is Valentine’s week, and I do what I want.

Chasing endlessly tooth-rotting fluff and, yet, inevitably drowning in the most soul-breaking angst.

Damn me.

[Damn THEM]

All my favorite kindred spirits doomed to see their hearts slayed by catastrophic destinies.

Achilles and Patroclus.

Hera and Kanan.

Jayce and Viktor.

Thrawn and Eli.

[Seriously, what’s wrong with me?]

And at the same time, I am unable to live without breathing every detail of their exquisite bonds, their divine mutual understanding.

Commitment, patience, adoration.

~

I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell, I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth.

I would know him in death, at the end of the world.

[“The Song of Achilles” by Madeline Miller]

~

Surviving just with the creation of a space in my brain where they do not become sworn enemies, or are damned to perpetual loneliness, or, well, DIE.

A space in which they can smile, gently.

Dream and love.

And tell each other bedtime stories.

[Photo: the wonderful commission was created by @lucenorthstar]

Idiots in action

Ho aperto questo blog nel 2004 per condividere questi idioti con il mondo.

Sono molto felice che, dopo quasi 20 anni, siamo tutti ancora qui, anche più deficienti di prima.

Jinxed

I thought maybe you could love me like you used to.

Even though I'm... different.

But you changed too.

So here's to the new us.

~

Never out of my Arcane hyperfixation.

One year and strong.

Now, dangerously expanding to the LOL lore.

I regret nothing.

Two years later

“If it comes to swinging, swing all, say I.”

Sleepover time for our souls

The hatch slid open, and Admiral Ar’alani stepped into the suite.

“Everyone all right?” she asked.

“Do you need Ab’begh?” the momish asked.

“No, it’s all right,” Ar’alani said, holding up a hand and smiling at Ab’begh as the little girl put down her questis. “I expect the Vigilant to stay where we are for the rest of the night. If we have to go anywhere, we can do a short jump-by-jump. So, no, you girls can relax.”

She shifted her eyes to Che’ri. “I mostly came by to tell you, Che’ri, that Thrawn and the Springhawk have made it to the asteroid where they’ll be hiding for the next few hours. They’re safe, and it doesn’t look like anyone saw them.”

“Okay,” Che’ri said. She still wasn’t fully clear on what all the fancy flying had been about, but she was glad the Springhawk was safe.

“Thalias is with him, right?”

“Yes, she is,” Ar’alani said, her voice sounding a little strange. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to sleep here tonight. I’ll have an extra bed brought in for you.”

“She can sleep in my bed,” Ab’begh said, sitting straight up in her chair. “It’s big enough.” []

“Caregiver?” Ar’alani asked.

“If it’s all right with Ab’begh, it’s fine with me.” The woman actually smiled. “I remember having sleepovers when I was their age. Pretty sure I can whip up a few snacks for them, and we’ll make it an event.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Ar’alani said. “But.” She raised a warning finger. “When your caregiver says it’s time for lights-out, girls, it’s time for lights-out. If we need you, we don’t want you so tired you’ll accidentally steer us into a supernova.”

~

Kindness is contagious.

And empathy is a gift.

Today I am celebrating the wonderful presents I received from two of the most amazing humans I connected with because of a blue literary alien.

The mug from Redbubble is from @kotoroa. And I adore it.

The incredible lunch set I have used for over a year was a gift from @geekablycute, and I am so sillily constantly thrilled to show it off at work.

This little online space we made our own, the bonds we created are a cuddling sleepover time for our souls.

The fucking last rockstars

I will bother everyone with an insanely detailed and totally unnecessary report switching randomly between Italian and English when I am on the plane home tomorrow (Sunday).

Sono arrivata qui carica di tutto il mio migliore sarcasmo acido, come immaginate.

I saw these idiots so many times at this point, spent so much money, and for so many years that I think I'm entitled to.

But the truth is that I cannot say anything but.

It was moving and super fun and, honestly, artistically excellent.

I started to cry like a baby around mid-concert when I took this photo (*3* hours of concert btw), and I never stopped.

Prima che il mio telefono muoia completamente, comunque, voglio lasciare questo messaggio assolutamente professionale da vera critica musicale.

Ma come mi ero persa che Miyavi fosse COSI BONO?

2.20 am here and more tomorrow, but I need to post this before I sleep.

I state that I took very brief videos with the phone and nothing fancy like a real camera or shit because mostly I screamed and cried, not recording things.

I don't know who fucking took the video of the Tokyo concert, but it's a cheating villain, or the sound engineer there was drunk because, to be honest, **Hyde is still ABSOLUTELY MIND-BLOWING**

Also, sorry Toshi fans but for me Hyde on X songs it's a yes all my life.

~

Yoshiki.

I never was a fan, to put it mildly.

But if yesterday was an act, he deserves an Oscar because he was SO ADORABLE and SWEET, and where the aliens that kidnapped the real Yoshiki hid him because... ❤️

And everyone in the audience noticed.

At one point, they were discussing stuff in broken English, and Hyde, who was wearing on his head a PINK BRA that a fan threw at him (don't ask), placed on Yoshiki's head a BUNNY headband that another fan gave to Hyde.

And, I swear, he actually didn't really react.

I mean.

We're talking YOSHIKI.

The man that probably checks what he is wearing in ALL THE POSSIBLE angles with a special camera designed JUST FOR HIM at NASA.

NO. THERE.

With the bunny ears.

He and Hyde are like these super different classmates, the class clown and the teacher's pet that, for no foreseeable reasons become BFF.

And Miyavi is so sweet with him. Like the grownup grandchild that loves the grandpa to death.

By the way, Yoshiki said that the band name was pretty "bold," but he meant that, until we aren't actually, we aren't dead yet. That the world is pretty messed up, but if they were able to have a super band with Laruku fans in the same audience as X fans, everyone could live better and be kind to other people. And, ultimately live "as a fucking rockstar."

Kind of his own version of "carpe diem."

And he cried at least twice.

Because the people were signing and he was super emotional.

The audience was indeed amazing, doh.

The best people, REALLY.

Mostly Americans, coming like me from around the US, just two days for them. And some French and Dutch (at least the people around me), spanning 25 - 65 years old.

Everyone so crying and having so much FUN.

Ultimately, you know.

They are the fucking last rockstars.

Sugizo.

I was like VERY close to the stage, Sugizo side.

And I can't unsee the things I have seen. 🙃

(I posted a video on FB but I have sort of a secondhand embarrassment for it).

The interactions between all of them and the audience were also unprecedented.

The absolutely enjoying but not insane crowd allowed them to actually "spread" themselves in the middle of the audience (I don't have better words, Because it wasn't precisely a stage diving kind of situation) and to receive things from the fans (Sugizo got a ring that immediate wore, and well, yes, Hyde got a pink bra that also immediately wore).

A true celebration.

Finally, I made peace with NY.

I managed to eat all the things I was tremendously missing. Which are generally not American at all.

Bonus.

Yesterday night, around 1.30 am, I went for a quick dinner after the concert, and I was offered a coffee and apple pie by this absolutely adorable old Latino waiter.

Thank you, random stranger. ❤️

I left a tip worth accordingly, of course, but officially there are sweet people in NYC too.

[So I have the feeling that Milan still wins the award for unfriendliness]

Not dead yet

All The Fucks I Give

Queen

“Well, that was an interesting way to spend an hour,” Wutroow said as Ar’alani picked up her questis and stood up. “Any further orders, Admiral?”

“Just the one Ba’kif already gave you,” Ar’alani said. “Stay alert and watch for trouble. Oh, and if trouble does arrive, squash it.”

“The simple orders are always the best.” Wutroow cocked her head.

~

“He won’t fire,” Ar’alani said. []

“He might do it out of spite,” Wutroow warned.

“No.” Ar’alani cocked an eyebrow up at her. “You didn’t really think he wanted to follow the Syndicure’s orders, did you?”

Wutroow frowned. “Excuse me?”

“All that legal order blather was purely for the official record,” Ar’alani explained. []

“Interesting,” Wutroow murmured. “He certainly had me fooled.”

“As I said, that was the idea,” Ar’alani said. “But there were signs.”

“Such as?”

“Such as leaving his shoulder lasers powered down so Thrawn only had to disable the bow cluster,” Ar’alani said. “Such as chatting with me instead of simply tractoring in the frigate as soon as the shuttle was secured.” She gave Wutroow a small smile. “Such as trying to goad me into taking a shot at him so that he could pretend I’d distracted him long enough for Thrawn to slip out of his pin.”

“Thereby shifting some of the blame onto you?” Wutroow gave a gentle snort. “Nice of him.”

“I would have been willing to share it with him,” Ar’alani said. “And just for your private amusement, I was getting ready to fire on him anyway.”

~

Stars, I love her.

I love THEM.

[Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. Zahn, forever thank you]

[Photo: two extraordinary pins featured today. The uber-cute chibi Ar'alani by @cherriielle, with the Chiss Ascendancy logo by @fulcrum_pins in the background]

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