Whatever it costs

“Let me explain something, Qilori of Uandualon,” the Chiss said softly. “My job—the sole reason for my existence—is to defend the Chiss Ascendancy and protect my people. I will do whatever is necessary to achieve that goal, and I will allow nothing and no one to stand in my way. Do you understand?”

~

“I have nothing but respect for Mitth’raw’nuruodo’s abilities. I disagree with his choice of position.” []

“You mean his service with the Empire?”

“Yes.” Ar’alani half turned to gaze out the forward viewport. “There are grave threats facing the Ascendancy. []” She turned back to Faro. “Is his life here truly so much better?” []

“His life here is precarious,” she told Ar’alani. “But this is apparently where he thinks he can best serve all of us. Including the Ascendancy.”

~

“Someday, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, you’ll overthink and overplan, and it will come crashing down all around you. When that happens, I hope someone is there to lift you back to your feet.”

“You, perhaps?”

Ar’alani shakes her head. Her expression holds regret, perhaps even pain. “I very much fear I will never see you again. [] If you don’t return quickly, there may be nothing left for you to return to.”

“I understand. But for now, I must remain here.”

“Then do what you deem right,” Ar’alani said. Her expression is stiff but firm, holding farewell. “And may warrior’s fortune be ever in your favor.”

~

Thrawn’s eyes seemed to focus on something in the distance behind Ba’kif. “My job is to protect the Ascendancy and the Chiss people, sir,” he said quietly. “Whatever it costs to achieve that goal, I will pay it.”

~

The comm screen lit up with a face. [] Her blue-black hair was tied in a tight knot at the back of her head. [] “I am Admiral Ar’alani of the Chiss Defense Fleet,” she said in a clear voice []. “Are you he?”

“I am he.” Eli took a deep breath. “I am Eli Vanto. I bring greetings to you from Mitth’raw’nuruodo. He believes I can be of some use to the Chiss Ascendancy.”

“Welcome, Eli Vanto” Ar’alani said, inclining her head in greeting. “Let us learn together if he was correct.”

~

Eli.

After everything else.

You gave them even Eli.

"Whatever it costs."

[Photo: custom necklace by @caitlynminimalist]

Like the wind

That is the way it is with a wound.

The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.

And once it is closed, you no longer see what is underneath, what started the pain.

~

Writing today, before watching the first episode of "The Book of Boba Fett", I am tickled pink, nonsensically ranting about this for days.

Although possibly accounted among the "first wave" of "crazy fans" of a rather "obscure" character as Boba Fett, I am actually not excited just because of him. To be frank, I found his appearance in "The Mandalorian" amazingly cool, but slightly out of character.

People change, especially after, possibly, being digested for some time by a Sarlacc. Nonetheless, I personally noted a shift in his portrayal there.

But I am digressing.

Like most of you, lovely people in this community, my total eagerness and expectations are for Fennec Shand.

From her introduction to her further development in TBB, she quickly becomes one of my favorite SW characters.

And, yes, partially for nothing related to her fashionable appearance, quotable lines, and overall overwhelming awesomeness.

But because she is portrayed by the one and only Ming-Na Wen.

"The Joy Luck Club" is one of my favorite books, and her interpretation of June is simply sublime. And, I have to admit, "ER" was my very own introduction to a type of "active fandom" that, later, expanded to more franchises. And I do not even start with Mulan or Agent Melinda May.

[WHAT. A. CHARACTER.]

On top of that, having a 58-years-old woman kicking asses in a multimillion dollars production is exactly the spirit with which I want to start my 2022. As much I adored Leia's matriarchal leadership in the sequels, having Mrs. Wen jumping from rocks while shooting stormtroopers is the kind of mood I want for the future of this franchise and our society, in general.

~

I had on a beautiful red dress, but what I saw was even more valuable.

I was strong. I was pure.

I had genuine thoughts inside that no one could see, that no one could ever take away from me.

I was like the wind.

~

[Photo: creative and perfect, @geekablycute Fennec Shand earrings.

Both quotes are from "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan]

Have yourself a merry little Chissmas

"Have yourself a merry little Chissmas

Let your heart be light

From now on

Your troubles will be out of sight."

~

I love how @nerdilyinclined is geeking-up the classical carols.

And so, a merry little Chissmas, Thrawn.

More than ever, after "Lesser Evil", I just wish for you a time when troubles were truly miles away.

Eli and Ar'alani.

Ch'eri, Samakro and Thalias.

Kivu'rik'ardok.

Like in the olden and golden days of yore, gathering together once more.

For you.

Like Mr. Zahn, I guess, I hope that the powers-that-be will have the heart to write you at home (the only home you have ever known), surrounded by your faithful friends, and even, perhaps, some new ones.

I know. I know.

It's a silly thought for Christmas.

When the "real world" is a mess.

When people are suffering, and the lack of empathy is everywhere.

When even members of this amazing community are not well, or in trouble.

But, see, Thrawn.

Maybe this is the point.

Maybe this is the reason why, among all the infinite things we cannot control, I would love that at least you, YOU, an imaginary character from a multimillion dollars franchise, could have a little bit of peace, recognition, and love.

[Photo: wonderful Chissmas decoration by @rylothrelics. With the cute cute Santa Thrawn.]

You sleep more than I do

“Really,” Eli said, frowning. He hadn’t heard anything about criminal profiling work. “When have you been doing all this?

Thrawn inclined his head. “You sleep more than I do.”

Eli felt his face warm.

~

'Raw'n pompously declared that the pillows were super comfy. I honestly don't think he slept, but he asked for a set for himself anyway.

I love hotel rooms.

Maybe because, for me, they mean vacation (which I love) or conferences (which I also really love).

And, for how much I enjoy traveling with friends, there is a special joy in being alone in a hotel room.

Or, well.

Alone with a 6 inches tall blue alien who doesn't sleep, anyway.

Today's plan, my second jump, is being tested at 8:45 am, in time to fulfill the challenging requirement to land within 24 hours after a negative result with a 17 hours journey ahead, and having the first trip of my life in business class.

After two years of canceled flights and rescheduled mess, I accumulated so many e-tickets coupons that Delta was basically becoming my saving account.

So, I decided.

Spending them all for a business class ride.

Which sounds fancy (and I'm not fancy) and a very adult thing (and I'm SO NOT an adult).

But, I guess, they will get that memo kinda quickly when I will start to take pictures of the above-mentioned —incredibly handsome— lil guy in my very fancy and very adult seat.

There.

Ultimately, I managed to bother you also on this Thrawn Thursday.

Hugs and Chisses

"The Unknown Regions remained uncharted because a chaotic web of anomalies had created a near-impenetrable barrier to exploration; only the most foolhardy or desperate ventured there—criminals, refugees, and, if the reports were true, remnants of the old Imperial fleet who had refused to accept New Republic rule.

A few planets had been discovered, but their populations remained small, and their trade with the rest of the galaxy had been throttled by the navigational risk. The Sith and the Jedi had found paths through to even more dangerous, more hidden worlds—or so legends said—and the specific, carefully stepped coordinate jumps required to safely navigate the anomalies were among their most closely guarded secrets."

["The Rise of Skywalker" - by Rae Carson]

~

As some of you might have already read in my IG stories, I am attempting to visit my family (actual and found) in Italy for the holidays.

Things once trivial like boarding a plane and waking up the next day in another continent are now definitely more challenging.

Saving you the long list of complications, I decided to embark on the journey, anyway.

Jump by jump.

"If we can make it to the ground, we'll take the next chance.

And the next. On and on until we win... or the chances are spent."

This also means a couple of weeks of not planned posts.

Yes. So even more useless than usual.

But, equally, the domineering reappearance of my teensy-weensy favorite travel companion.

'Raw'n.

Camera lover, gourmet connoisseur, and infallible copilot, he will take care of me every step of the way.

Drowning our uncertainties in cheese triangles and fruits sticks.

Thus.

So long, folks.

Hugs and Chisses!

[PS - I am posting this Thrawn Thursday caption —on a Wednesday— because I genuinely span from zero time tomorrow to bored to death for seventeen hours. Forgive also the simplicity of the photo, but I am always utterly uninspired when *I* am inside the clothes that I want to share with you. That said, the t-shirt is hilarious, brilliantly Barbie pink, and I adore it with all my heart. By Chissless on Teepublic].

Loyalty

Did Thrawn even recognize the depth of loyalty he inspired in those who worked with him? Knowing Thrawn, probably not.

~

“The way she looks at the universe [makes her a good commander]. Certainly a better commander than I. [] Her officers follow her with confidence, even eagerness. Mine follow me because they’re good Chiss warriors.”

~

Samakro glanced around the bridge []. They were tense, he could tell, for all the same reasons he was. But he could see no panic or serious doubt. They’d been with Thrawn long enough to trust him to get them through whatever mess he was leading them into. Distantly, Samakro wondered if they’d had that same confidence back when he’d been the Springhawk’s commander.

~

Even from the beginning, the attitude of the officers and crew had struck him as unique. [] Everyone from Faro on down seemed intent on working together to do their jobs and complete their assigned tasks to the best of their ability.

The reason, of course, was obvious: Thrawn.

The grand admiral was smart and subtle, but never used his brilliance to show up or humiliate anyone. He demanded results, but never perfection, and had amazing stores of patience for those who were truly working to their fullest ability. He cared about his people, to the point of standing up for them even against the disapproval of powerful men like Lord Vader. []

The result was telling: a degree of loyalty Kimmund had seldom seen [].

~

Faro felt her eyes bulge. “My new [command]—sir?”

“Indeed,” Thrawn said, and this time there was no mistaking his smile. “Congratulations, Commodore Faro. May you serve the Eleventh Fleet as well as you’ve served the Seventh.”

“Thank you, Admiral,” Faro managed. “It—sir, it’s been the greatest privilege of my life to serve under you. I can only hope my officers will feel even a tenth of that pride and satisfaction under my command.”

“They will that, and far more,” Thrawn assured her. “And now, Commodore, one final time: You may prepare my ship.”

~

Inspiring people change lives.

And @geekablycute is precious.

She gifted me countless days of inner sublime joy.

"Thank you" is truly not enough.

Know their names

“I was just keeping up their morale,” Ahsoka said. “They need to know we take the same risks that they do. That we’ll sit down and talk to them, and know their names, instead of just snapping our fingers and calling them clone. Nobody likes being treated as if they don’t matter.”

For all her bluster, she had her very adult, perceptive moments. Anakin knew how it felt not to matter. “Well… they seem to like you. That’s good.”

“They’ve lost so many of their friends. Can’t you feel their pain?”

“They’re soldiers,” Anakin said. “It’s the job.”

“It’s yours, too, but you hurt all the time.”

Anakin didn’t look at Rex, and Rex didn’t look at him, but the captain took a few slow paces and put a little more distance between them, appearing engrossed in something via his helmet comlink. He was obviously anxious to avoid hanging around for what threatened to be a very personal exchange.

“You’re right, Padawan,” Anakin said. She was, and he didn’t want to discuss it; agreeing with her served both purposes. “We all handle our loss in our own way. Thank you for thinking of the men’s welfare.”

~

Respect and care are paramount in any relationship.

Mentors and pupils, managers and employees, generals and soldiers.

We can maintain the rigor of our decisions and firm evaluations without forgetting that personal and professional levels are different.

It is not just about being empathetic but also considering human complexity.

Others, like us, are not just one thing.

Not just clones, or students, or employees.

And it would be a crucial mistake to judge one aspect of a person's life as the totality of who the person is.

Some of my students are terrible at my subject.

Some because they actively prefer to enjoy their afternoons chatting with friends instead of unveiling the secrets of a gas turbine.

[How can I blame them?]

Some because they are absolutely the negation of what I teach.

Either way, I love them.

They are many many other things besides being a D- student in my class.

They are witty and hilarious, sweet and kind, generous and caring.

They will still receive a D-.

But, ultimately, it is not what matters.

[Photo: rocking my finals week with Her Universe]

Unexpected Alliances

Thrawn stared at the fire with a somber look. []

“Is the Empire the greatest evil you can phantom? Or is it perhaps the Sith? [] The Emperor is cruel and full of malice. I won't deny it... but [] the darkness lurking beyond your cosmic shores is far, far worse. [] One must act as necessary for the survival of life in the galaxy.” []

“That's still not an excuse for the injustices the Empire has done!"

“So you say you would rather choose to right an injustice over everyone's else lives.”

“That's not what I meant-”

“I know,” Thrawn raised a hand as a gesture of understanding. “Your sense of duty and empathy to those around you compel you to take immediate action, sometimes without thinking ahead of its consequences.” []

“The decisions and choices I made with it were my own. I can't simply turn a blind eye to the suffering of people!” Ezra’s hand became fists, trying to stay calm, but Thrawn was making it difficult. Perhaps sensing this, Thrawn’s voice became softer trying to diffuse the situation.

“You chose this path even if it took you away from your people, because it was the only way to save them. I commend you for that. I have been doing the same far longer than you. During all this time I have learned one must carry the weight of all their choices. Even the regrettable ones. There are no easy choices in war.”

“That sounds like Mon Mothma,” Ezra calmed down and shook his head giving a half-hearted chuckle. [] Thrawn gave him a small smile in turn.

“Ah, Senator Mon Mothma. Had I stayed and outlived the Emperor, she might have been my first choice of contact to come to a truce with your Rebellion... if it hadn't been destroyed by then, of course. She could have been reasoned with.”

“She-... you-... what?” Ezra stuttered in disbelief, looking at Thrawn in shock.

“There would have been disagreements, but nothing insurmountable I presume.”

["Last Known Trajectory" by @soulnova_alizrak]

~

[Note: this excerpt is very long but so perfect. I will divide it into two posts]

[Photo: pin by @fantasypinstress]

Utterly fabulous

“Any idea who else you’re going to ask into this madness?”

“I have some ideas,” Ar’alani said. “I’ll start with Thrawn’s friends.”

Ba’kif grunted. “I’m guessing that’s a short list.”

Ar’alani nodded heavily. “Yes. It is.”

~

Some people might think that the SW fans are intolerant, uninclusive, and, generally, mansplaining like hell.

And, yes, the fandom menace IS.

But that is the annoying and whining top of an iceberg that has the loveliest, nicest, and most generous humans under the surface.

A community that does not curse you if you post almost 100 stories in a day (or, at least, they are so kind to silently suffer your unstoppable need to share), that reads your excessively long captions, and does not call the closest asylum when you ask to print a pair of shorts just for the thrill to pretend you stole them from Thrawn's closet, as the perfect fag hag** that you are.

The story starts with @outerspaceoutpost producing this absolutely brilliant set of hilarious shorts, and @anna_thegodkiller buying a very cute, Eli-related, pair. From there, my twisted mind produced a mental scene in which an "I am flattered but I also I really don't know how I can explain to you this and I want to die a little" Eli has a surreal conversation with a puzzled Thrawn, who, obviously, wears the —spicy for us, factual for him— item. At this point, the insane idea was then commissioned to the unparalleled @lucenorthstar, with the dialogue support of @trisha.clev and the Thrawn who lives in her brain.

End of the story? Nope. Going full circle, I then actually asked a kind and acquiescent @outerspaceoutpost to produce the exact replica (color, text, and all) of the abovementioned shameless shorts.

And voilà.

Tell me again that this community is not utterly fabulous.

[**Note1: with the term I don't want to imply T sexuality, but more my headcanon attitude towards their partnership.

Note2: it is a terrible term, but since not-so-nice humans call me that since the beginning of time, I reclaimed it, like others do with "queer". Linguistic reappropriation is a form of personal empowerment, but I understand that, although it is my way of addressing name-calling, it might bother some]

In your hands

“Good day, Lieutenant Vanto." []

Eli froze, his own readied greeting freezing in his throat. That was it? *Good day, Lieutenant Vanto?* All the long months since their last meeting, and that was all the greeting he got? []

“Come, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, Admiral,” Eli said, the whole sense of unreality still digging at him. *Good day, Lieutenant Vanto…*

He started as the death troopers silently closed in around them, feeling his growing bewilderment and resentment disappear into understanding. Of course—Thrawn was merely being formal here because of the urgency of the situation and because there were strangers present. Once they got someplace more private, that stiff and proper exterior would surely open up.

~

Eli didn’t know what Thrawn was going to say about him to the stormtroopers, or to Commodore Faro, or to anyone else. Actually, he didn’t know if the grand admiral would say anything at all. [] He didn’t mind for himself. Thrawn had said he might be of use to the Chiss, and Ar’alani seemed satisfied with his work, and for right now that was enough. It was his parents who had to bear the brunt of the stigma, and his former friends in the fleet who had to see his name forever draped with contempt.

Which made Thrawn’s aloofness toward him so puzzling. Didn’t he realize what Eli had gone through? What he’d given up for him?

Maybe before this was over he could get Thrawn alone, even if only for a minute, and find out what his former commander was thinking.

~

“Lieutenant Vanto, another moment of your time, if I may.”

“Of course, sir,” Eli said, a knot forming in his stomach. What could Thrawn possibly want to say to him that he couldn’t say in front of the others?[] The door closed behind them, and Thrawn raised his eyes to Eli. []

“The project you’re working on for Admiral Ar’alani. She hasn’t yet told you its purpose, has she?”

“No, sir,” Eli said. []

“Ask her after the battle,” Thrawn said. “I believe she’ll then be willing to tell you.”

~

The Ascendancy.

The navigators.

Ch'eri.

His beloved sister.

Everything most cherished he had.

Everything he gave up his life for.

Reverently entrusted in the hands of Eli Vanto.

[Photo: keychains by @ooakrafts]

Good morning

NOTE: This excerpt is not canon.

I saved this little passage many months ago, and, despite I really wanted to share the familiarity and the sweetness in it, I am always unsure when I know that the whole story, despite just barely hinted in here, implies a romantic or sexual relationship between Eli and Thrawn.

The unforgivable guilt is that I forgot to save both author and title. So, please, if you encounter this in your readings, let me know who gifted me with such a sweet heartwarming gem.

Thank you!

~

He opened one eyelid and nearly jumped out of his skin when he was met with four beady eyes staring back at him.

"I told you not to disturb Eli," came Thrawn's voice, gently chiding, and the yellow lizard was plucked up with a squeak. Eli turned around to see the Chiss holding the lizard high and close enough that it could play with his nose.

"Humans need six hours of sleep to function optimally," Thrawn was warning it, even as it evidently paid no attention to his words or the commanding tone of his voice. "If you disturb Eli again, I am going to have to leave you with Bridger, or keep you in an enclosure for the night. We don't want that, do we?"

*I kind of want that*, Eli thought, but sat up on the bed with an agreeable smile. Annoyed as he was with Thrawn for choosing a thrice-damned lizard over him the previous night, he couldn't deny that it was criminally endearing to watch the usually stoic, serious Chiss former Grand Admiral melt like chocolate the moment the diminutive ysalamir did anything cute.

Thrawn, thankfully, set the lizard down on the floor where it scampered off and went underneath the curtains, and turned his glowing red gaze on Eli.

Eli grinned. "Good morning."

~

[Photo: custom CEDF Eli Vanto by @poppourrico / @cardinal.creates. Sorry if I'm featuring these pops again. I really REALLY try not to repeat posting the same collectibles, but these were too fitting the weekly Eli and Thrawn theme to pass]

Quientessential Eli Vanto

Standing to the side, watching his captain and the Strikefast’s senior troop commander discuss the mysterious settlement they’d found on this unnamed world, Cadet First Class Eli Vanto tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible.

And wondered what he was doing here.

None of the other ten Myomar Academy cadets had been ordered down with Parck’s shuttle. Eli didn’t have any particular expertise in unknown artifacts or tech. It wasn’t like he needed planetside experience, anyway—he was on track to become a supply officer. There was no reason he could think of why he’d been singled out this way.

“Cadet Vanto?” Barris said.

Eli wrenched his mind back from his musings. “Yes, Colonel?”

“The droids said there are half a dozen trade languages out here that use Bogolan script. You’re our expert on obscure local languages.” He gestured to the crates. “So?”

Eli moved closer, wincing a little. So that was why he was here. He’d grown up on the planet Lysatra in this part of Wild Space, pressed up against the so-called Unknown Regions. His family’s shipping company worked mostly in and around their homeworld, but they did enough business in the Unknown Regions that Eli had picked up proficiency in several of the local trade languages.

But that hardly made him an expert.

“It could be a variant of Sy Bisti, sir,” he said. “Some of the words are familiar, and the syntax is right. But it’s not standard.”

Barris snorted. “Hard to imagine a standard for a language so obscure that even the droids don’t bother with it.”

Eli held his tongue. Sy Bisti was actually a perfectly well-defined and eminently useful language. It was the people who still used it, and the worlds they lived on, that were obscure.

“You said you can read some of it?” Parck prompted.

“Yes, sir.”

~

Quientessential Eli Vanto.

Epically failing to be invisible given his unstoppable natural inclination to be unbiased, curious, and forthright.

We know him for less than a few paragraphs, and he is already, overwhelmingly, in our hearts.

[Photo: beautiful pin by @ritarussiandoll_pins, featuring one of the most prolific Thranto artists @iskelan_art. In the background, Eli chubchub plush by @penguinfairycrafts]

Hold onto it for him

Ba’kif stared at him. It wasn’t often that someone could catch him by surprise, especially not an alien. The words were organic, not rehearsed or meant as a performance. [...] These were the words of a military man, with a steadiness that spoke of growth and maturation yet to come. This man would be a leader. He could see Thrawn’s mark on the man, but he also remembered Thrawn’s words: he guided, he did not teach. These things were pre-existing, or they weren’t. But Eli Vanto’s strengths weren’t restricted to only patterns and tactics. Vanto was adept in politics, too.

And with that, Ba’kif understood.

He cleared his throat. “I called you here today because you deserved to hear from me about your former commander and fleet-mates. [...] I have but one more thing for you, Lieutenant Commander.”

Without looking away from those dark-edged eyes, the general pulled open the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a box from inside.

"I think that Thrawn would have wanted you to have this," Ba’kif said, pulling the plush lid off the box to reveal the four-pointed medal inside that gleamed gold and was polished to a flawless shine. "It was given to him many years ago." Slowly, methodically, he explained its significance: To the Stybla, and the Mitth, and to Thrawn, personally.

Vanto’s expression shifted from interest to awe, to something part embarrassed and part horrified. "Sir, I—I’m honored, but I couldn't possibly accept this."

Ba’kif made no move to take it back. "Then don't," he said. "Hold onto it for the time being. When Thrawn returns, you can give it back to him then."

~

Keeping my "Eli series" strong this week, with this excerpt from "Negotiate, Deliberate, Extort as Necessary" by @DistantStorm.

One of the main missteps when thinking about Eli Vanto is associating him with the topos of the lost young cute boy, completely bewitched by the strong alpha male.

A world of no.

15 years of "Sir" did not make Eli less bold, blunt, and honest.

And yes.

Even with Thrawn.

[Custom ring: @caitlynminimalist]

Wild Space Giveaway

Researching a proper scent for Eli has been fun but also kind of stressful.

A lot of responsibility since, despite he appears in just two out of six canon books, his fandom is vast and adoring.

Because, frankly, it is impossible not loving him.

[Right, Thrawn?]

We wanted something kind and sweet but, at the same time, direct and blunt. And since he is a Wild Space cowboy, in a way, something exotic and a little rough.

The selection of the notes has been super long, spanning all summer. And, since the other mastermind behind this, @kotoroa, lives something like 8,060 km away from me, also pretty challenging, given the need to send each other the scents for comparing notes.

Ultimately, the choice fell on saffron and white tea for the top notes, purple peonies, orchid, and tobacco for the middle, with a base of everything you can think of good and earthy: vanilla, almond milk, and tonka bean.

At this point, the artistry and talent of @thenerfherderco did the rest, and the “Wild Space Cowboy” scent is now available on her website. And, since I am pretty proud of it, also part of my most recent giveaway on IG (check the link on the right).

For entering, everyone needs to comment why they love Eli and Thrawn (as friends, partners, soulmates, mentor/mentee, whatever is in their headcanon), and to mention someone that is their own "Eli". Someone honest, who understands the complexity of their soul. No names needed. Just feelings.