7.10.22

Don't ask for permission

Viktor believes himself unlovable and unable to love, asserts himself above it in some subconscious defence, constructs himself electric and invulnerable to compensate for whatever esoteric pain only he knows the name of.
But the man a few inches away from Jayce is brilliant, and beatific, and bursting with emotion he’s forgotten how to feel.
He’s lovely, sharp, a pain and amazing.
[From: "I do believe that you are the answer to most things in the known universe" by OptimusPrime33, a Giopara/Viktor —LOL lore— AU]
~

I adore when fanfics just express so flawlessly everything I would crave to convey about a person or a relationship or a feeling, but I am so excruciatingly unable to.
~

It is peculiar how fictional characters enter your life precisely when you need them to.

Thrawn is me.
I needed to be seen, and he was there.
More handsome and brilliant and blue, sure.
But me.
Finally acknowledged, deciphered.
Loved.
My self-discovery and acceptance journey.

And then, Viktor.
Brilliant. Unhinged. Beautiful.
There. When I needed to feel again, to live again.
Without asking for permission.

[This is an even more personal post than usual, if possible. I bet it is cryptic and difficult to read, so sorry for that. The exquisite pin is by Nekato404 (on Etsy), and is placed over a very old Ericsson heat engine]

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